My Thursday morning, May 30, started at 4 am (about an hour and a half after I went to bed, since it took that long to make each of my suitcases fit everything/fit the weight limit). I had a banana at the good ole breakfast table, sitting with Cristina who woke up to see me off, and we chatted like it was no different than any other meal we've had together. But when 3:50 rolled around I knew I had to pack up the last of my things, squeeze into the tiny elevator, and walk for the last time through the courtyard and out onto Villegas y Marmolejos. C said something like, "well this is where I stop," and I just gave her the biggest, longest hug. I didn't really know how to say all the things I wanted to say in Spanish, but that might have been just as well, because I think the hug was enough. She was short with her goodbye, as I'm sure she needed to be since she has done this so many times, and it is no doubt difficult each time. I'm sure she's perfected a way to close a chapter to one girl's book in order to prepare to open a new one. Part of me thinks it won't be the last time I see my senora and her family, but if it was, I know we had the fullest experience possible and I walked away feeling resolute. I met Emily at our corner and she walked me to the bus stop (a true friend to have gone out the night before and to get up at 4 to sit at a bus stop, with no intention of going anywhere). I felt a sense of longing, not wanting to leave, now that it was finally time to go, and Emily and I were reminiscing on one of our first night's at O'Neill's, walking to class through this very path every day, etc. etc. But once I got on the airport bus, I was immediately ready- jumping out of my skin, in fact- to just get off that final plane in Charlotte.
last picture with Cristina, cerca 2 a.m.
But it was a long, long travel day. The plane to Lisbon was a puddle jumper. I had never been on one before. It had 10 seats and the pilot gave everyone ear plugs before we took off, because it was going to be that loud. So, I didn't sleep on that flight. And when I got to Portugal I had to get my checked bag, re-check it and go through security again (aka find security, find US airways to get my boarding passes, find the gates...it was all so confusing), and by the time I got to B24 I only had just enough time to make my last purchase with euros (a Ritter Sport chocolate bar) and get in line (SO many lines today) to board the plane. For the long flight to Philly. You know when you sit next to a person who immediately starts talking to you and you think, "OK, so we're going to have this conversation for the whole flight, now." And you know how you don't want that to happen on an 8 hour transatlantic flight? Well obviously it did happen to me. The woman was incredibly interesting, I'll give her that, but even after 2 sleeping pills she had me up the whole flight chatting. The chatting and the high turbulence, that is. It was a pretty miserable flight, but it was only 8 hours, and then it was over. I had to get my bags again, go through immigration, customs, security again, and high tail it to my gate to make it to the last leg of the trip to Charlotte. All in all, when I look back, it felt pretty fast, although in each moment it felt like the day had been dragged into a week. When I got off the plane it was only 5:30 p.m. Just "13" hours earlier I was in my apartment in Sevilla (plus the time change).
I made my way down to the final baggage claim in a state of delirium. Didn't even see Granddaddy, my dad, or Stephen waiting for me at the bottom with flowers and big signs around their necks. When I finally did spot them I was overcome with the strangest sense of feeling like it'd been forever since I'd been home and like no time had passed at all since I'd seen everyone all together. My bags all made it back and in one piece, nothing broken, and mom picked us all up outside baggage claim in perfect timing. The rest of the night was absolutely everything I wanted it to be and more. My parents had the sweetest ideas to put random little things around my house to surprise me, things I'd mentioned that I'd been missing (like cookie and peanut butter) and had the goods to make any number of meals that I wanted for dinner that night.
First meal back at home? All I could think was dad's homemade pizzas. We had a Mediterranean one with kalamata oliva, pesto and feta cheese, and a classic cheese/spinach/feta/tomato sauce one. Dad also made chicken kebobs from my Around the World cookbook to have with red pepper hummus, his famous green bean/onion mix, a Med salad, and Krispy Kreme donuts for dessert. The delirium continued.
It's amazing how easily I've fallen back into some of the routine things I used to do. Not in a bad way, it just feels so easy and natural to be driving around in my car, running errands, going to DSW, Whole Foods and Target, taking yoga (HaLlElUjAh), making plans for dinner with friends. But I've brought everything home with me that I've learned over the past semester. As easy as it is to think of that as an entire other life, I don't want to keep them separated. I want to continue enjoying life the way I've enjoyed it in Spain, valuing relaxation, keeping things simple, paying attention to how I'm feeling and being good to myself each day, and staying clear about what I want, without letting the little distractions of life pull me away from it. It'll be harder to do in this environment, but I know it can be done. In yoga today I had such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude while laying in savasana that I actually teared up. It was my second class after 5 months of not a whole lot of stretching period, and while I can tell there's things I'll need to work on again, I'm still so capable of so many things. We're all a lot stronger than we think we are, and we can do so many more things than we give ourselves credit for. For me, its just the fear of the "what if" in case I can't do something anymore or won't be able to accomplish something new that gets me. What if I didn't think in terms of "what if?" This semester has given me some of the confidence to kick that habit. I made it around the world and back again in one piece, but I didn't just make it back- I took on the challenges and turned them into great experiences, I've learned so much and I don't regret a thing, and the best part about it all is that I'm ready to be back here and to take on what life's got in store for me next.
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