Settling In

There's nothing quite like saying you're going to do something and actually getting it done. So for me, where procrastination is my own worst enemy, the last couple weeks have felt pretty good. I debated moving to Chapel Hill versus staying in Charlotte for a solid month, but when I was finally so sick of weighing the pros and cons of each scenario, I just made the decision to go ahead and move. This was back when I was in Spain. When I got home to Charlotte and had a week there to unpack, chill out, get myself together, and re-pack again for school, I worried that I made the wrong decision. The comforts of home are just so enticing! I love my bed. I love lounging on my couch. I love my yoga studio. I love it all because its what's so familiar to me. But now that I'm here and settled in to a summer life in Chapel Hill, I couldn't be more reaffirmed that it was the right choice. I'm learning so many things about how to live on my own, I have time to plan out some goals I want for the semester, I'm getting my foot in the door for opportunities I might want to consider as career options (or at least as activities I know I'll want to keep up for the rest of my life). And I just gotta say, it feels so good.

Case in point- my first cooking experience

I've cooked before, but its always been the case that I've found a cool recipe online or on Food Network, gone to the store to buy specifically those ingredients, and made it. And that was my one cooking stint of the week (or month). This time, I went to the grocery store to shop for the week, and with some of my purchases I put together this dinner, making lots of leftovers to last me a few more days. I know, I know, nothing crazy interesting and everyone in the world has to cook for themselves eventually, but hey- I'm learning here! And I'm still quite the amateur. How do I know this? I started a fire. When I was roasting my veggies, olive oil dripped from the cookie sheet down into the bottom of the oven and before I knew it, smoke was filling the kitchen and the alarm wouldn't stop ringing. I had a moment of panic, a minor freak-out, but in a matter of moments, I had gotten it under control Stephen calmed me down and showed me what to do. And now, lesson learned and I'll know what to do the next time I set something on fire! Hopefully it won't be a regular occurrence. The finished product: shredded sweet potatoes, roasted vegetables, and marinated chicken breasts over pesto linguine. Most recipes I found here.

The rest of my meals this week haven't been nearly as exciting, but I am getting the hang of getting home from work and even though I'm tired, taking the time to make a decent meal. Of course, there are things that have made it easier. Like having a roommate who is just in summer school and doesn't have a job, so she's got a lot of time on her hands, and one night this week I came home to her cooking homemade macaroni and cheese, breaded chicken, and bean salad for me. And also, overnight oats for breakfast have become a staple. 

In addition to meal-time festivities, finishing the configuration of the furniture in our house, decorating it with the random assortment of things we've all managed to grab from home, actually purchasing my bike and getting it up to Chapel Hill (thank you, mom!), I've successfully potted my herbs (thank you, dad!). It's the littlest of accomplishments, but I am so excited about them. I love having ideas and then seeing them come to life. Sometimes I forget that I can do anything I want to do. But when I remember it and really embrace it, its such a powerful feeling. I know this year will have its ups and downs, but I need to remember this feeling- the feeling that I am capable of so much, and I'm actually making it happen right now, so what's to stop me from keeping those positive vibes and actions going? My first goal of the semester is to take a new look at the world 'procrastination.' I see it as this ugly monster, that I always fall victim to. But maybe when this semester starts, I don't have to. Maybe I'll look at each task, break it down into smaller and smaller bits, actually reward myself for accomplishing even those small bits, and especially the bigger ones, and maybe, just maybe, my little battle with procrastination will slowly fade away.

Along with my new basil: parsley, dill, and oregano. What to plant next??

6 months later, 61st post

I wrote 60 times while in Spain/about my Spanish adventures. Which actually doesn't seem like all that many journal entries for a 5-month span of time in a place where there was something new and exciting pretty much every single day. But I'll write it off to the fact that all of my posts were like mini novels, recounting events over 10-day trips and packed full of the little details. But now here I am, back in Chapel Hill again. Except it doesn't feel like I thought it might (and feared it would be). It's not like I'm back in this little campus where all I do is run from obligation to obligation and around every corner I run in to someone I know and I feel mostly bored with my day-to-day schedule. Granted, it's summer so there's no school, but I'm feeling so great about this upcoming year. I came home with a plan to make goals, and I've a lot, and I've set some in motion already. So now that I'm here in Chapel Hill I'm focused on my goals, I'm excited about my new house, and I'm ready to take on what this "real world" has got in store for me, one day at a time. 

So, what are these goals?

1. Plant an herb garden- somehow, somewhere. Basil, parsley, mint, chives, thyme? Currently taking suggestions for it.

2. Get a bike (to ride more and more, slowly phasing out where I need to drive my car to)

I had no idea where to begin with getting the "right" bike. All I knew is that I loved the Sevicis and I didn't want to become unused to biking everywhere, so I'm keeping up with the habit before I have the chance to lost it. I had Rachael's dad (a bike guru) help me big-time and settled on this Trek. He says it was a steal so I'll take his word for it!

3. Look for jobs for summer/into the school year

4. Organize my part of the house

On Tuesday I packed my car and drove myself to Chapel Hill, moved in by myself while my Laura and Caroline were at work (as in moved my giant suitcases, bins and tubs, metal and wood desk, chairs, bedding- everything- up the narrow and steep stairs SOLO!). When Kelly got in on Wednesday, I repeated the whole process with her. We also disassembled an entire wardrobe, carried the pieces upstairs, and re-nailed it back together, assembled a kitchen table, brought in the rest of our furniture (and she's got a lot) and hung shutters on the walls all day long. 

5. Get serious about plans for yoga in my future- explore teaching certification options

6. Strive to be happy every single day.

I had yet to drink from the Old Well since I've been at Carolina- it just never crossed my mind to do it- but as I was taking a walk with Emily (who I was so happy to see after our separation of all of three weeks) through the quad, eating oreo YoPo, I felt like it might be just the right time to do it. They say you'll have good luck with your classes if you drink from it on the first day of the school year (or something like that) but I think it'll bring good luck to me in this transition time back into real life. And this really is becoming real life, real fast; I bought my first actual bunch of groceries today. Look who's doing big things... more to come on that. I'm leaving the library now because it's summer and even though we don't have internet in our house, I just can't be in a library for longer than an hour. 

Around the World and Back Again

My Thursday morning, May 30, started at 4 am (about an hour and a half after I went to bed, since it took that long to make each of my suitcases fit everything/fit the weight limit). I had a banana at the good ole breakfast table, sitting with Cristina who woke up to see me off, and we chatted like it was no different than any other meal we've had together. But when 3:50 rolled around I knew I had to pack up the last of my things, squeeze into the tiny elevator, and walk for the last time through the courtyard and out onto Villegas y Marmolejos. C said something like, "well this is where I stop," and I just gave her the biggest, longest hug. I didn't really know how to say all the things I wanted to say in Spanish, but that might have been just as well, because I think the hug was enough. She was short with her goodbye, as I'm sure she needed to be since she has done this so many times, and it is no doubt difficult each time. I'm sure she's perfected a way to close a chapter to one girl's book in order to prepare to open a new one. Part of me thinks it won't be the last time I see my senora and her family, but if it was, I know we had the fullest experience possible and I walked away feeling resolute. I met Emily at our corner and she walked me to the bus stop (a true friend to have gone out the night before and to get up at 4 to sit at a bus stop, with no intention of going anywhere). I felt a sense of longing, not wanting to leave, now that it was finally time to go, and Emily and I were reminiscing on one of our first night's at O'Neill's, walking to class through this very path every day, etc. etc. But once I got on the airport bus, I was immediately ready- jumping out of my skin, in fact- to just get off that final plane in Charlotte. 

last picture with Cristina, cerca 2 a.m. 

But it was a long, long travel day. The plane to Lisbon was a puddle jumper. I had never been on one before. It had 10 seats and the pilot gave everyone ear plugs before we took off, because it was going to be that loud. So, I didn't sleep on that flight. And when I got to Portugal I had to get my checked bag, re-check it and go through security again (aka find security, find US airways to get my boarding passes, find the gates...it was all so confusing), and by the time I got to B24 I only had just enough time to make my last purchase with euros (a Ritter Sport chocolate bar) and get in line (SO many lines today) to board the plane. For the long flight to Philly. You know when you sit next to a person who immediately starts talking to you and you think, "OK, so we're going to have this conversation for the whole flight, now." And you know how you don't want that to happen on an 8 hour transatlantic flight? Well obviously it did happen to me. The woman was incredibly interesting, I'll give her that, but even after 2 sleeping pills she had me up the whole flight chatting. The chatting and the high turbulence, that is. It was a pretty miserable flight, but it was only 8 hours, and then it was over. I had to get my bags again, go through immigration, customs, security again, and high tail it to my gate to make it to the last leg of the trip to Charlotte. All in all, when I look back, it felt pretty fast, although in each moment it felt like the day had been dragged into a week. When I got off the plane it was only 5:30 p.m. Just "13" hours earlier I was in my apartment in Sevilla (plus the time change). 

I made my way down to the final baggage claim in a state of delirium. Didn't even see Granddaddy, my dad, or Stephen waiting for me at the bottom with flowers and big signs around their necks. When I finally did spot them I was overcome with the strangest sense of feeling like it'd been forever since I'd been home and like no time had passed at all since I'd seen everyone all together. My bags all made it back and in one piece, nothing broken, and mom picked us all up outside baggage claim in perfect timing. The rest of the night was absolutely everything I wanted it to be and more. My parents had the sweetest ideas to put random little things around my house to surprise me, things I'd mentioned that I'd been missing (like cookie and peanut butter) and had the goods to make any number of meals that I wanted for dinner that night. 

First meal back at home? All I could think was dad's homemade pizzas. We had a Mediterranean one with kalamata oliva, pesto and feta cheese, and a classic cheese/spinach/feta/tomato sauce one. Dad also made chicken kebobs from my Around the World cookbook to have with red pepper hummus, his famous green bean/onion mix, a Med salad, and Krispy Kreme donuts for dessert. The delirium continued. 

It's amazing how easily I've fallen back into some of the routine things I used to do. Not in a bad way, it just feels so easy and natural to be driving around in my car, running errands, going to DSW, Whole Foods and Target, taking yoga (HaLlElUjAh), making plans for dinner with friends. But I've brought everything home with me that I've learned over the past semester. As easy as it is to think of that as an entire other life, I don't want to keep them separated. I want to continue enjoying life the way I've enjoyed it in Spain, valuing relaxation, keeping things simple, paying attention to how I'm feeling and being good to myself each day, and staying clear about what I want, without letting the little distractions of life pull me away from it. It'll be harder to do in this environment, but I know it can be done. In yoga today I had such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude while laying in savasana that I actually teared up. It was my second class after 5 months of not a whole lot of stretching period, and while I can tell there's things I'll need to work on again, I'm still so capable of so many things. We're all a lot stronger than we think we are, and we can do so many more things than we give ourselves credit for. For me, its just the fear of the "what if" in case I can't do something anymore or won't be able to accomplish something new that gets me. What if I didn't think in terms of "what if?" This semester has given me some of the confidence to kick that habit. I made it around the world and back again in one piece, but I didn't just make it back- I took on the challenges and turned them into great experiences, I've learned so much and I don't regret a thing, and the best part about it all is that I'm ready to be back here and to take on what life's got in store for me next.