Stress- its practically unavoidable. I think if a person says they live a stress-free life they're lying just a little bit. But a lot of the things I usually stress about (i.e. school, time management, career-planning) aren't really stress-worthy here. And still, I find ways to stress. Like if I don't know how I'm going to get a good work out in for the day, or if I haven't scheduled a flight/found a travel buddy for a trip I really want to take. I find myself consistently wondering if there is something else I should be doing rather than what I'm currently in the middle of here. I'm grateful that I have been given the time to recognize this about myself so that I can work on it.
Although I know I shouldn't be, I'm stressing about missing yoga. I'm actually having withdrawals from it. But since I've been here I haven't trusted myself enough to believe I can have a fulfilling self-practice, and since I haven't found a class that fits me yet, my mat has just been rolled up in the corner of my room. Well today I found out that a woman who worked at my studio in Charlotte recently lost her battle against cancer. I read that she practiced at home with a space heater on her bathroom floor when she could no longer make it to the studio. I didn't know her personally by any means but this touched me. If I want to do yoga, I can. Cold floors and small spaces shouldn't stop me. I am all at once deeply saddened and encouraged by this story, and I know I came across it for a reason. I need to quit thinking about where I'm going next, or where I should be, and just be where I am, doing the thing that I'm doing (or not doing, and being okay with that).
It's my 21st day in Sevilla, España. 21 days. It's flown by and it's felt like a year. I've got more than 21 weeks left to "make Spain mine" as Grandaddy worded it, and I want to soak in every minute and do just that. There is a prose poem my mom used to have framed and I remember learning the words when I was really young. I read it again today and realized it breaks down nicely into 21 sentences-- seems fitting. I'm working now on really listening to the words as opposed to just memorizing them.
The Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
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