Day 142

Happy day #142 in Spain! I've been here 4 months and 21 days. 20 weeks and a day. 3,384 hours (Googled it). Actually, that doesn't seem like that much. But when I think about what I've been able to do/see/find/make happen/experience in some one-hour spans of time, I feel like I've packed a lot of life into this past semester. And I'm leaving tomorrow. After all of the people I've sent away from Sevilla and all the times I've taken weekend trips out of town, its hard to think that this time when I go to the airport, I'm not coming back. I'm pretty much packed and ready to go, but I'm definitely going to leave for the airport early enough so that if/when the check-in people to tell me my bag is too heavy, I'll have time to rearrange and throw out more things. I also feel pretty content. Sure, there's always more to do, and I don't by any means feel like an expert at being abroad, but for this period of time, I feel like I've taken full advantage, made some long-lasting friendships, built a life and discovered a true family, seen so many things, gone out on so many limbs, that these past couple days when I've been doing things that might be "the last," I feel pretty okay with that. Haven't gotten emotional yet, maybe I will when I actually hug Cristina goodbye, who knows. I do know that after saying goodbye to half the people already, it feels like we've been winding down for a long time. And I can safely say I'm more excited to go home than sad to leave. Which I think is the best of both worlds. I'm not homesick, and I'm not sick of being here. I'm just content. And I'm just so gracious for this experience. It's been the richest of my entire life. 

And I couldn't speak about studying abroad without mentioning the studying portion of it. I feel like I've actually learned things in my classes, without all the drama and stress over boring and tedious assignments, papers or group projects that count for 75% of your grade, etc. It makes me think we don't actually need all that extra crap to learn. The thing I'm most proud of is how far I've come listening in class. My history professor speaks the most rapid, most muddled Andalucian Spanish imaginable, and at the beginning of the year I had to sit on the front row and crane my neck, straining my ears just to pick up on some words that would give me a clue into the context of what he might be talking about. And if I zoned out even for a minute? I was done for. But by the end of the semester, I could write notes pretty easily, keep up with him (ma o meno) and I left class every day feeling pretty competent. That is a huge accomplishment. And I don't know when it happened. Emily and I were just talking about it one day after class, that we didn't feel totally lost. We just looked at each other and said something like, "how freaking cool is that." 

Not being stressed and still learning? What kind of crazy combination is that? More importantly, why do I have a hard time grasping that its okay? Studying for exams. Never have I ever and never again will I ever have the kind of exam week that I've had here. And the thing is, I still stressed about the tests. Because that's what we're taught to do. The more I think about it, the more ridiculous it is. I couldn't let myself not study, even when my final was open note/open computer. That was my EU exam. Jesus asked us to please get out all our notes and open our laptops, not put close/put them away, and to write for as long as we cared to about "what did I learn in the class this semester." For history, we spent a good 3 hours the morning of the exam comparing notes, Emily, Evan, Shoshanna and I, talking about how we hoped he would ask the essay questions on tema 6 or tema 9, because we just didn't know the others that well. Well, when we sat down in Serrera's office he looked at the syllabus and said, "what would you guys like to write about?" So tema 6 and 9 it was. And now I'm sitting in the EUSA cafe, 45 minutes before my Islam exam, and I'm blogging. Because even if I didn't take this exam, it would take of 20% of 30% of my grade, and the whole thing is pass/fail anyway. Its hard to wrap my mind around the fact that its okay to do badly, and what's more, that even when I don't study, I'm probably not going to do badly. 

Oyoyoy. This, right now, is the life. After I finish this last test, I think I might go to the river to hang out. But not go get ice cream, because- and I never thought these words would come out of my mouth- I am so sick of sweets. Ice cream in particular. I think I hit my max the other night when we sat at Fiorentina past closing time, talking to the Joaquin, ordering multiple helados. Crema Vaticana is actually a religious experience to eat. But that last tarrino pequeno of it might have just done me in, because now when I think about eating anything sweet I just feel sick. And Cristina really wanted to spend some time with me yesterday, and insisted on taking me out for...you guessed it: ice cream. I ate it, but after that I just said NO MORE. I'm done. So. The first thing I can't wait to do when I get home is eat A. what I want, when I want, and B. try to do some kind of cleanse. Also, the tendinitis is finally subsiding, so while I want to take it easy, I really want to get back into exercising, doing something else besides cycling. I've grown to like it here, and I especially like taking classes in Spanish because I can't always understand when the instructor is telling me to crank it up a gear or not, so I just do what feels good and challenging to me. So. The second order of business will be to get back into a variety of exercises that are fun (I don't miss running, because usually I hate it, and I don't want to make myself do anything I don't want to do when I get back). And what's fun to me? Yoga. I am so excited to get back on my new mat (new to me, got it at Christmas and haven't really been able to use it yet) and sweat the fun way. 

And...yep, that's pretty much it. I'm going to enjoy my last day here (it still hasn't really hit me yet, because even typing it out doesn't phase me) and once I get on that first plane tomorrow- assuming I make the 4:30 am bus, which Emily is so kindly accompanying me and all my luggage to- I will be SO ready to land in Charlotte, see my family, run around my house without slippers on, fall into my comfy bed, watch TV on a couch, open the fridge without asking for anyone's permission, drive my car, ride in a car in the passenger's seat, go to the grocery store, use my phone in the middle of the street where there's no wifi, wear something other than one of my 5 rotational outfits, ask a salesperson questions without having to figure out what exactly I need to say in Spanish to get my point across, not convert everything to dollars to figure out just how much it costs, use my debit card and forget about 2 cent coins (they are the worst), give my feet a rest because, at this point, they feel almost beyond repair, wake up early and have people in the world be awake too (including the sun), order breakfast somewhere and it not be just tostada con mermelada y cafe (going along with that, having eggs for breakfast and that be normal). And that's just what I can rattle off off the top of my head. Now that its 10:30 and I have my last exam in 15 minutes, I'm going to go over notes and get going with day #142! 

Joaquin, Emily and I; one of the many Fiorentina excursions

Oh and Cristina bought loquats? Is that a real fruit? I Google translated the Spanish name and it came up as that, but I've never heard of it before. Weird and cool to eat something you've actually never heard of or seen before in your life.